Lin Qing Xiang shares with Tan Wen Hui his last relationship and hopes for a new one.
Lin Qing Xiang holds no regrets letting go of his girlfriend of nine years. When his girlfriend asked for a break up, Lin was willing to accede to her request. “A part of love is about learning to let go for the better,” explains Lin, who turns 33 this year.
“We were on the verge of getting engaged; we even took our wedding photographs at the studio and balloted for a flat. Thankfully, the ballot wasn’t successful.” The couple was lucky to have been rejected by the Housing Development Board (HDB); otherwise Lin would have to cough up a penalty fee for his HDB flat.
Not all long-term relationships end with a marriage. Nevertheless, it was a blessing in disguise for Lin, who works as a sailor. Life on board the ship is gruelling; sometimes, Lin has to go on year-long mission trips. His absence can take a toll on a relationship. Especially since his partner is suffering from depression and is always in need of mutual support, balancing work and a serious relationship is a challenge. “Depression can be very taxing on a relationship.” admits Lin.
Now a carefree man, Lin spends his free time scouring the internet for juicy happenings, catching up with long lost friends and spending quality time with his immediate family. When I sat him down for this interview, Lin was calm and collected. The irony of being in a relationship is that it takes up a lot of your time as you perceive it to be.
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For Lin and his girlfriend, the break up was solely due to his girlfriend’s personal issues and work commitment.
Although Lin refused to say, finance has a part to play in the couple’s split. His girlfriend toils as a graphic designer at a local design firm; surely she does not earn much for the creative industry at home is small and highly competitive.
A graphic designer’s salary ranges from $1,200 to $2,600, depending on the level of experience. Working hours are relatively long and there is no overtime pay or bonuses. Sometimes, graphic designers are expected to multitask.
In short, a graphic designer’s pay does not commensurate with the amount of time and effort spent at work.
This brings to point Singapore’s changing economic landscape and level of competitiveness. As the nation enters a competitive phase, Singaporeans are inevitably forced to keep pace with the changes. It is no wonder the average Singaporean is finding it tough trying to keep pace with these changes; settling down with their significant other becomes a challenge.
Moreover, rising property prices is a contributing factor to why most Singaporean couples choose to delay their marriage and parenting plans. Nasty quarrels with regards to finances are bound to arise – no matter how a couple is in love with each other.
So, the question is: can love pay your bills? Be realistic; do not rush into a marriage unless financially stable. Otherwise you will always remain in debt to your creditors.
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Since being single, Lin has been able to divert his free time and attention to the things he intend to do. Scouring the Internet for juicy information that constitutes breaking or developing news to post on social media sites; going out to the movies; searching for tasty food are some things Lin dabbles into, to name a few.
Along with the little free time he has, Lin also plans to create memorable videos for his family and friends that would serve to last a lifetime. He is also looking forward to an upcoming trip to Japan, Fukuoka, with friends.
“It’s my first time going to Japan and I’m excited. However, if work crops up, I’ll have to abandon my plans.” says Lin. Like most responsible Singaporeans, work takes precedence over anything else in life.
Moving on to the topic of love, Lin says he “does not intend to actively search for a partner”.
Instead, he would rather keep a lookout for a companion – that significant other who can accept his hectic working life and who is also willing to walk with him through life. “People will feel lonely; they need a partner.” Lin believes that he will meet his significant other when the time is right.
How about children? “Life is complete with their existence, and you hope to pass on your life to them.” says Lin.
The trick is to wait for that person to come by, but for how long?
Hopefully by then, Lin, his significant other and children would be able to lead a comfortable life – one that lives up to the contemporary concept of the Singapore Dream of a rounded and fulfilling life.
On retrospect, one does not need to have a lot of wealth, but must have enough to live a comfortable life.
NEWSPRINT
Posted on February 14, 2012
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